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W1D3 [Feb. 13th, 2004|04:42 pm]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |couldn't hear anything over my choking.]

Today shall be known as the Day of Ouch.

I went out at 3:45apx. The temp. read 30degrees. I wore more clothes so it wasn't bad. The tobogan was a very good idea.

I noticed that I covered more distance in less time during my warmup walk. It isn't a significant difference but small progress none the less. I was able to run farther and more steadily than the previous two days I went out. On the down side, I had some problems with not being properly hydrated. We were out of water so I had to drink juice instead. Not a good substitute, I found. I felt okay except for feeling like I was just about to puke. I got to the same turn around spot as Wednesday and walked back. I had a bit of a side stitch and tried deep breathing to help.

On my way back I heard someone coming up behind me. It was a nice military guy that was *really* running. He let me know he was behind me because he "didn't want to startle me." I thought that was nice. When he passed me on his way back he told me to "have a good walk!" I thought that was more than polite and sure was a boost. A guy from the Park Service waved at me while I was out, too. The two runners I've seen while out have been great motivation and inspiration to keep going out. It will be a while before I'm able to run the 8mile loop but I know I can get there.

The coughing after working out is getting ridiculous. I do not cough *at all* while I'm outside. In fact, since that first day...I feel like my lungs and body are starting to already get with the program. I don't know if the coughing and audible weezing is a change in temps (going from 30-40 to 70degrees) or if it is smoke related. I'm inclined to believe it has to do with smoking because the coughing doesn't start until about five minutes into being inside. I think it has something to do with my lungs opening up to take in oxygen while I'm working out and then being open to all the smoke and residual smoke in the house when I get back. Today was aweful. I actually had to stop in the middle of writing this entry to go retch. I almost wonder if I'm having mild aesthma attacks. (I've never had asthma or related diagnosis during my lifetime so I don't really know what that kind of attack feels like. The closest I've had is my airway closing up due to a food allergy.) I don't think it is bronchitis or another respiratory illness that can be "caught" because the coughing tends to go away about 10-15 minutes after it starts. I would guess that is how long it takes me to "settle down" back into the shallow breathing required to live here.

I am really proud of myself. And amazed. And relieved. I worked out every day I said I was going to this week!! I did it despite cramps, cold, wet, discouragement, embarassment and laziness. I fucking rock.

*By the end of this entry I have quit coughing.
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Weather, Emotions and Running [Feb. 13th, 2004|01:48 am]
[mood |bitchybitchy]

It was cold and wet during my last work out. This would stop a lot of people from going out (as I noticed while I was out there). The thing about cold weather is that, to a certain degree, you don't feel the cold after you start working out. I completely understand people living in northern or midwestern states not wanting to go out in sub-freezing temps especially when snow and ice are involved. I live in west Texas at the very edge of the Chihuahua desert. The weather may be nasty sometimes but it is usually still ok for outdoor activity. I'm bringing this up because there is a winter storm headed my way at this very minute. I don't have the proper clothing to go out in full-on rain but I can handle drizzle. I'm really committed to my running program. I'm afraid if I stop or miss a day that I won't start back up again. I need to keep that momentum going. I'm really, really hoping that tomorrow will be a running friendly day. I'm concerned about being in good shape before the 100+ degree temps of the summer start. So, with that goal in mind I can't stop now just for a little 30 degree chill.

I realized sitting here that a lot of my disappointment and irritation over the past week that has been seeping into my feelings about working-out are probably due to my hormones. I'm not used to having PMS or any "cycle" related bitchiness since it has been so long. And as far as "regular" periods are concerned...I think you're right, Jennifer. Most women aren't as by-the-calendar as the medical field would like us to believe. My biggest concern with missing a period for so long is that it can increase risks of reproductive organ cancer. Anyhow, it is kind of nice to be reminded of what it feels like to be a "real woman" (ie hormonal bitch from hell) .
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A Happy Surprise [Feb. 11th, 2004|11:27 pm]
[mood |excitedexcited]

I ate pretty well today. Gary bought the groceries I asked of him so I didn't have to resort to eating crap food. I'm going to wait on adding strengthening exercises to my routine until the end of next week. I don't want to try too much too fast especially considering my current state of affairs. I had an exciting health surprise today that I can't really share with my bestfriend: I think I started my period. I've been concerned because I haven't had one since June. I'm hoping it is a full fledged period (and not just some trick of my system) but it seems to be with all the cramping, pimples and ... loose bowels. I wonder how much my new exercise regimin has attributed to this development. Weird thing to be excited about but what the hell. Reproductive health is still health. :)
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W1D2 [Feb. 11th, 2004|11:21 pm]
[mood |tiredtired]

I did go out and "run" today. I was out for 20 minutes. I didn't jog as much as I'd hoped. I don't mean to sound whiney but it was *really* hard. I know it will be for a while (maybe a long while) but I'm still committed. Gary didn't want me to go out because the weather has been cold (in the low 40's...which is "COLD!" for here) and wet. He almost seemed a little condescending. I talked with Drew and he agreed that since it wasn't raining and I was dressed warmly that I'd be ok. The weather didn't bother me too much. I need to wear my tobogan next time just to protect the inside of my ears from the wind off the river. I was hissed at by some geese that were pissed off by my jogging through their path and I was *chased* by ducks! The ducks were hilarious. Four of them ran towards me quacking and then stood quacking at me while I passed and then ran after! It was awesome. A car honked at me while I was walking over the bridge on my way home. I didn't notice any one else noticing me. I was almost home when I saw an actual runner starting on her run. She was the only other person out today and it gave me some inspiration and hope. If I keep with this I'll eventually be able to go out and run like her! I don't think 10am is going to be a realistic time for me to run for a while. I don't get to sleep until the early morning and so I don't wake up until midday. I sent an email to Kat this evening telling her that I thought it might be best if she skipped going with me on Friday. I'm repeating the first week of the C25K program so it won't be like she's missing anything. I think she's probably in better shape than me (because most everyone is) so I don't know how she is going to feel about working-out with someone so out of it. I'm considering this week to be my warm up week for the C25K program. I hope that by next week I'll be able to do what is suggested.

Even though my rational mind tells me that I am doing great just by going out and exercising I have mixed emotions. I'm very disappointed with how poorly my performance is this early in the game. It makes me worry that I'm going to never get any healthier. At the same time, I'm really proud of myself for sticking with it this far (okay 2 days isn't very long but it was tough just getting started in the first place). I do feel better after the initial feelings of defeat after a work-out. Drew says that I probably won't be able to notice my progress while I'm in the middle of it. He told me it was important to keep track of what I do and then suddenly I'll be able to look back a couple of weeks and say "hey, I can do more now" and that's how I'll now that I'm getting better. Wise man, that Drew.

So, Friday is the last day of my first week working out. Wow. I always wanted to start getting back into shape I just never got together the balls to take that first step. Check me out. ;)
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Prepping for W1:D2 [Feb. 11th, 2004|05:45 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

I'm off to run day 2 of my C25K plan. It is cold and wet and I'm not really in the mood to go out there and "run." I'm doing it anyway. Damnit.
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Here I Go Again On My Own [Feb. 10th, 2004|11:54 pm]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |Whitesnake, of course]

Kat won't be able to make our run tomorrow. She's really busy getting her portfolio ready to mail (which she'll do tomorrow) for grad school. I'm only slightly disappointed that she won't be making it. I plan on going without her. I won't be holding myself to the 10am start, though. I'm surprisingly not as sore as I expected myself to be after yesterday's excursion. Probably because I wasn't out for very long. Tomorrow I'll be running on the other side of the river (a less obscure, better populated area) so I won't have to worry about "scary people." I still haven't gone out and bought some kind of cheap digital watch so I don't know how I'm going to keep time. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

I tried to go to bed "early" last night. I finally took my headphones off and rolled over to sleep at 2:30am but I didn't get to actual sleep until around 6am. My sleeping patterns are all messed up. It will take some work to get them in a more "normal" range. I'm going to try going to bed before 1:30am tonight. If I can't get any better sleep with progressive change in bed times I may use a sleep aid. I don't see any shame in using them as long as it is on a short term basis.

I haven't drank any soda since the weekend. I didn't use to drink it at all but I got into the habit here in San Angelo. I've been drinking a lot of water and some not-from-concentrate OJ. I wrote up a grocery list for Gary to use but he skipped the store today and will go tomorrow. I added things that are more my style (large container of plain vanilla yogurt, applesauce, Grapenuts, and bananas).
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Long-term Goal=Big-time Reward [Feb. 9th, 2004|06:21 pm]
Jennifer had the very good idea of rewarding good behavior. I'd heard of it before but it didn't cross my mind to do the same for myself. Duh.

My goal is to make it to the end of the C25K program. It is a pretty big goal (and at 2.5 months, a long one) and so I think my reward should be equally big. When I succesfully complete that goal I am going to purchase a Casio Baby G watch. I want one with a nylon band that has a velcro and a tang closure. It will have all the "extras" and I'm going to try and find one in a muted color. If I can't find the "right" color then I will enjoy my funky colored one with pride.

Reach my goal = fun new sports watch
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W1D1 [Feb. 9th, 2004|06:20 pm]
I went out later and for a shorter amount of time than I expected. I'm ok with that because I'm proud I went at all. I almost talked myself into staying curled up in bed hiding. My immediate concern is that I am coughing a lot since getting back. Poor lungs! I'm thinking it may have something to do with my diaphragm spasming but it could just be the shock of leaving fresh air and entering a smoke stack. I think that being out of the house and inhaling all that fresh air three times a week will help me out quite a lot.

I am going to make a grocery list sometime tonight. Gary buys our groceries on base so I don't usually go with him. It is difficult to get back to healthier eating because I'm responsible for his meals too and he is picky. It isn't affordable to buy and cook two sets of meals every day. Maybe I'll be able to slowly get him used to having "healthy" foods in the house.

I plucked my eyebrows today. They really didn't need shaping just some cleaning up. It may seem like a trivial subject to some but when I moved down here last year I started letting go of my normal beauty routines. I'm working on no longer neglecting my self.
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The Beginning [Feb. 9th, 2004|12:49 am]
[mood |determineddetermined]
[music |Christina Aguilera - Fighter]

I'm going to start running tomorrow. Well, I'm starting that program that eventually leads to running. I'm really nervous and almost out right scared. Kat won't be joining me until Wednesday. She has some school work that she needs to take care of Monday morning. I'm not worried about what will happen once I get out there (the path is right behind my house). I'm afraid I'll talk myself out of getting out there at all. I said I was going to "work out" so many times in the past. What will make this time different?

My rational mind says that I will be fine. I can't be held back by past poor choices and/or weakness. Tomorrow I just have to get out there. 10am. Just leaving the house is my first big goal in this fitness program. I know I'm out of shape and the running will be hard coming (well, I don't actually *know* but I assume that it will be hard to get into) but if I can just get out there that first day I think I'll be psyched enough to keep with it.

No more over-analyzing. No more doubts. No more psyching myself out.

Tomorrow I'm going to start running. I'll begin my warm up at 10am.
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Game Plan: The Drawing Board [Feb. 8th, 2004|12:17 am]
[mood |coldcold]

I thought the best first post for this LJ would be a slight moderation of my "Game Plan." It is the initial strategy I have for working toward a healthier me.

-I bought a diabetic cookbook, The Better Homes & Gardens Diabetic Cookbook: New Edition.

-I'm working myself up to slowly go revert to my (pre-San Angelo) healthier eating habits. This is independent of the diabetic-friendly meals and is something I can do on my own.

-I bought good workout socks and some other work out clothes (as per usual, I cannot find my old sports bras and tanks in this state of boxed living) that are appropriate for jogging/walking in cooler weather. Kat is going to be my running partner! She actually was interested without any pressure from me. That is awesome because it will help both of us to be accountable to another person. We start late Monday morning.

-I have a "stretching and strengthening" program almost complete in my head. I'll need to find a printer that works so I can have it on paper (making it easier to follow).

-I'm giving myself a month to set up an appointment with PP. I'm scared and I need time to psych myself up. I don't think there is any thing wrong with being realistic.
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